The
Compassionate Friends was founded in Coventry, England, in 1969,
following the
deaths of two young boys, Billy Henderson and Kenneth Lawley, the
previous spring. Billy and Kenneth had died just three days apart
in the Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital where Rev. Simon Stephens
was Assistant to the Chaplain. Simon mentioned Billy's death to Iris
and Joe Lawley, and the Lawleys decided to send flowers to Billy's
funeral. The signed the card simply, "Kenneth's parents," realizing
that the Hendersons would know who they were.
Bill and Joan Henderson then invited the Lawleys over for tea,
and an immediate bond was formed as the two couples spoke freely
about their boys, sharing their memories and the dreams that had
died with Billy and Kenneth. They continued to get together regularly,
and young Rev. Stephens, then only 23, encouraged them to invite
other newly bereaved parents to join them. In 1969, another grieving
mother accepted their invitation to meet with Simon and the two
couples. They decided to organize as a self-help group and actively
begin reaching out to newly bereaved parents in their community.
Because the word "compassionate" kept coming up, this
new organization was called "The Society of the Compassionate
Friends."
Simon became a chaplain in the British Royal Navy in the 70's.
He was met by bereaved parents at ports around the world, and he
helped them to develop their own chapters. TCF had become well-known
through U.K. and U.S.A. editions of such magazines as Time and
Good Housekeeping. Paula and Arnold Shamres of Florida read Simon's
interview in Time Magazine and invited him to visit them in Florida
and speak to bereaved parents there. He did, and the Shamres subsequently
founded the first U.S. chapter in 1972. Word of the organization
spread rapidly through interest generated by the Phil Donahue Show
and the columns of Dear Abby and Ann Landers.
The Compassionate Friends was incorporated in the United States
as a non-profit organization in 1978.
In 1989, The Compassionate Friends of Great Britain dedicated
a plaque commemorating the founding of the organization, at the
Coventry and Warwickshire Hospital where TCF had begun. The plaque
was unveiled by their patron, Countess Mountbatten, herself a bereaved
parent.
Then in November, 1994, Queen Elizabeth presented Iris Lawley
with a medal, The Most Excellent Order of the British Empire, in
recognition of her work on behalf of TCF.
There are now Compassionate Friends chapters in every state in
the United States—almost 600 altogether—and hundreds
of chapters in Canada, Great Britain and other countries throughout
the world. In the United States, chapters are open to all bereaved
parents, siblings, grandparents and other family members who are
grieving the death of a child of any age, from any cause.